Do ya'll have those little voices?
The summary of the weekend's story--It's never a 100% loss, there are always good behaviors mixed with
If it doesn't make sense to you --It Makes sense to me.
Tuesday mornings I meet with Meg my dietician via Skype and we peruse my online food / exercise journal. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Mostly the week days are fine with maybe a blip here or there. The weekends are when things can go wonky. I expect her to roll her eyes or sigh, but she never does. We always pull out the successes and work on the plan for the problem areas. I gloss over and we don't delve in to the personal issues so much that might have led me to use old or mindless or destructive behavior. For that I journal, I think, I analyze, I have therapy with a therapist every other Thursday.
One of my journal entries said that on Sunday I didn't want to 'feel or deal'. Interpretation: Feel the emotions, deal with them , or deal with anything else I need to do . Yeah, not on Sunday. I guess partially it's because I am becoming anxious about a situation coming up in our lives and I guess that was on my mind. We had a few cranky words about this or that and went out to eat . It was a planned lunch. I got what I expected to get. I brought home half to eat for dinner.
But when we got home from eating, I just wanted to read my kindle. I read 1 1/2 books. I took a nap. I also didn't want to take care of myself-do household chores that do need to get done. I was kind of 'in the food' since we had eaten out--"really good food" and I had been to the grocery store. I wanted to snack. Being 'in the food' isn't the same as being 'in to dealing with life or feelings'. Instead, I read in bed and snacked and read and snuggled with my dog and snacked and loved every moment of it---then.
It started raining and I felt cozier. In the end, at the end of the day, I didn't like what happened. I didn't like exceeding my calories. I questioned why. Maybe I could have still read and done it better. Absolutely.
This rolls in to Monday and I'm there with the confession , the analysis and the plan to make things different . I haven't had a reading/ snacking day like that in a long while. Those are usually reserved for days that I don't feel good or days that are very cold or rainy. I know this now and I am not worried that this weekend will be the same. It won't.
Some thoughts confirmed and stamped in my book of truths
1. Skinny popcorn---only 39 calories a cup . Yeah, that's all good. I am a single serving only kind of girl. 100 calorie mini bags or no popcorn at all. No big bags of skinny pop. It took me 3 days to go through it which compared to 'the old days' is fine. But it isn't getting me where I want to be healthwise.
2. Be very careful looking at grocery store circulars. Just because they have my husband's favorite cookies BOGO, doesn't mean I have to shop for them.
3. Going out for a meal and getting what I want , but only eating half of it and taking the rest home for another meal works.
4. Having a protein snack or drink after a 2 hr workout when I'm hungry and heading to the grocery store works. (jerky and iced skinny latte)