Working on being healthy in body , mind , spirit..135 lbs lost, then Maintained for a few years, and lately some regained. Working on it -in and out of Pjs
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
crazy dream talk "I AM THE QUEEN OF MAINTAINING!"
I'm having problems with one of my wisdom tooth sockets and having pain and still having to take pain meds ( and as of today antibiotics as well after the dentist folks prodded around in there and irrigated it. ) So I'm thinking the drugs are making my dreams particularly bizarre. I tend to have weird dreams anyway , do this is "JACKED UP" weirdness.
Now this dream where I scream "I am the Queen of Maintaining" it was something. I kind of think it was a foodie dream where I was food bingeing in my dreams things that I'm not having in reality. I can't touch some of the maintaining bloggers who got to their goal weight and are maintaining. I don't see myself as a true maintainer since I haven't lost the weight I want to lose (I've maintained about a 90lb loss for about 6 years now. I think my body is just good at maintaining status quo.. Real and lasting weight loss is more about changing my life and keeping it changed.
In this dream , I was yelling back at Jillian Michaels from The Biggest Loser show who was upset with what I was eating. And by the way, Jillian had gained like 50 pounds herself.
The dream is much more convoluted than this, but bottom line I was eating at a large table with a lot of people I didn't know and I was ordering food off a menu that I couldn't read. Jillian was sitting near me and being snarkey about my choices. I had apparently been one of her Biggest Loser pupils in the past. I couldn't figure out what the food was, but the food looked good.
Then I was at the dessert-to-go table which was a buffet of cookies and breads with dispensers of liquid chocolate and caramel. Unreal looking things but not necessarily totally delightful looking things either. But, I was helping myself and couldn't get enough and couldn't get people who were dawdling out of the way fast enough. Jillian comes up and yells at me "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" and I yell back "I AM THE QUEEN OF MAINTAINING".
The dream goes on where I then go up to pay my bill and found that someone had switched my bill with theirs and there were hundreds of dollars worth of drinks added on there. Panic. But the waitress remembered I only had "sle@iduslieh###" and ice water with lime (I can't remember except the water with lime part). So my bill is adjusted, and I leave to swim home ? and end up helping what looks like a black Lab dog but is really a black dolphin. I kid you not!
I'm thinking it's a little inner messaging that I'm doing the maintaining thing, but I'm not necessarily doing what I need to do to get to that next level. I'm working on it, but I'm not 100%. Drugs, inner mind talk, whatever---I'm moving in the right direction but apparently at a dog paddling rate.
I'm a Geek for many things: Food, Pajamas, Coffee, Chocolate, Movies, Books, getting and being fit and healthy, 80's music, and the list goes on and on .....A nurse, a diabetic, I've lost over 130 lbs and have more to go . And I actually enjoy working out.
I chose the names of Ms. PJ Geek and PJ and Pounds because I have happy memories of childhood, coming in dirty and sweaty from playing in the yard. Then taking a bath, putting on a fresh nightgown and feeling all new again . I felt like a princess. Fresh renewal. .........
All names and situations will be changed to protect the innocent and the guilty, and so I can keep my job. While I am a nurse, I do not intend this to be a blog with specific directions or guidelines for healthcare. And.....though I have a college degree, that was a long time ago ya'll, and I don't remember proper punctuation or grammar.