my husband found this on the internet..something maybe , silverlight is source.
THIS IS AWESOME. THIS IS ME.
Pjs today: blue fuzzy fleece with coffee cups in pastel colors and words that say "NEED COFFEE"
Going on Vacation on Sunday to Cumberland Island off the coast of south GA. Our first visit to this place. Cumberland Island is a national seashore and you take a ferry ride over and a ferry ride back. There are no conveniences on this island and you have to pack out what you take in ...as in trash. This island is the former vacation spot of the Carnegie family ( I think at the turn of the century or earlier). They left their polo ponies, so wild pony's roam the island along with other critters. Jfk Jr and Caroline Besette were married there in an old tiny church. Should be something. I may get to take an Okeefeenokie swamp tour too. Gators, here I come. I lived near New Orleans as a traveling nurse and worked with Cajuns and enjoyed swamp touring while I was there. So I look forward to this.
Packing list: 1. Bug spray. 2. Avon Skin so Soft..(bug lotion) 3. Spf 50+ sunscreen. 4. Trash bags. 5. camera
It is friggin cold and windy in Atlanta today. I planted pansies in honor of Earth day. Hope they live. Food better than before this weekend. Exercise-great. Joint pain -YES! Tylenol Arthritis-Yes.
I gave up on the show last season. I just couldn't get in to the group and the trainer changes. ( no Jillian) I didn't watch the current season. Actually, I wasn't sure when the last season ended and the new one began. Until today--I had a great morning, was inspired, had about a 90 minute pool workout. Hit Kmart for some savings on cleaning supplies and other items, but then dipped in to a bag of something on the way home from the store. Sigh. Two steps forward , one step back. ( Same thing happened last night-great day, screwed up at the end.)\
Then I got back on track. Spiniach salad, tuna, pineapple, and greek yogurt while I was going through the cable On Demand menu. I saw a boatload of Biggest loser episodes. So I started watching. I think I started at like week 4, and kept watching about 4 episodes. Between and during those episodes, I exercised a little, cleaned the kitchen a little, ate a healthy snack, cooked a healthy breakfast quiche and roasted some veggies. I went to the Nbc Bl website and caught up on who these people are and their starting weights. I'm not sure I'm entirely back on the BL band wagon, but I admit it--I was motivated. The BL had inspired me from the beginning of my weight loss/ healthy journey. I have a soft spot for Bob. Byt , It has it's faults and I've had my complaints. I think I'll start watching episodes On Demand while I workout on my elliptical (which had collected a little dust, I'll admit.)
Woo hoos-I had lapsed in the checking of my blood sugars. Since losing over 100 lbs my Diabetes is in good control. HGb a 1 c is at 5.6 even with the last little bit of weight gain and I'm down from 2 to 1 Diabetes med. I recalibrated the monitor and checked the controls and WOWZA--my blood sugars are better than ever. Fasting bloog sugars in the low 90's and random blood sugars in the 80's. Even last year when I was at my lowest weight, I didn't have those numbers. I guess I'm doing enough right.
Though not perfectly. I have a check up with my doc coming up soon and will get my cholesterol levels/ hgb a 1 c done.
Blogger is looking different , sorry if there are issues.
I think I should post something. Just check in. Maybe I'll say: "Hey", "HI!" "How are you all?" Or " Hey, Yall"
Actually "Hey, yall" would be what I would say in 'real life'.
I got on the computer at about 9:30pm and read just 1 blog and then linked to another blog and then another few posts on that blog and then to a website of the British plus size line of clothes Simply Be where I have been for 40 minutes.
Hmmph,this is not how I planned to spend my night. I'm not ordering any clothes , but I like to look and imagine. Much cuter clothes than here is the US.
Food/weight wise/health wise-I am having to remind myself to repeat the mantra "What do you Want?" so that I can remind myself not to over eat. And not even having excessive amounts of food, I mean trying to eat the right portions for my bodily needs. I am eating too much food for my body. I can just tell. If I were exercising at the intensity that I did last year it would be fine. I am finding that when something tastes really good it is hard to stop. Not to mention when you get a 'hankering' for something. So I repeat over and over Whatdoyouwant?whatdoyouwant?whatdoyouwant?whatdo you want?
Tonight , I wanted hot and sour soup and a little brown rice and veggies from Lin's Chinese. I ate the right size portion . I have leftovers for tomorrow. I wasn't hungry and I wasn't full. I was just right. But it tasted so good that I did want more. But I didn't have it.
"whatdoyouwant?" Well, I don't know exactly. But I'm glad that I am remembering to think to say it to myself. To put that pause in there. I don't think I really know exactly what I want. But at least being aware of this and being able to stop when I want to keep eating is a good thing.
My Kindle in bed awaits me -reading time. I call that Bed Bye Time.
I didn't even realize it was the 100 year anniversary of the sinking of the actual Titanic when I went to see the film today. This is actually the only 3 D movie I've seen since all the recent 3D films started coming out. The last time was something from the 80's when the 'glasses' were made of cardboard and blue and red film. Today, cool RayBan like shades. 3D just really added depth and texture. I was not disappointed. For me, just seeing Titanic on the big screen is the experience I most enjoyed-so different than watching it on tv. I highly recommend it for all Titanic movie fans.
And still......... Every time I see it, I look at the fancy wood mantle thingee that Rose is lying on in the frigid ocean and try to reason that if Jack could have just figured out how to balance out their weights that they could have had a future together. That's just me, but my friend was obsessed with the idea as well.
I admit I feel a little guilty because while I'm thankful for my job and that I get to work at home and don't have to sit in rush hour traffic 2-3 hours a day(like I used to), I still get burned out and fed up with it sometimes. Today , I was so over it, antsy and burned out with working that by 5:20 I had shut the computer down , was dressed with my purse in hand, and standing over my husband saying "I need a margarita!" He was sitting in his underwear with our dog in his lap playing an X-box game. But he saw my wild eyes and said "Okay".
Shock! He is not spontaneous.....at all. Well, I am not a big drinker.... at all. But I knew that going to some bar and grill and hearing loud , noisy people and background music and seeing baseball on the tv along with some Cuervo was going to mellow me out. And where we were going has 110 calorie Skinny Margaritas. I can count on one hand the number of times we have done this in our 16 years together. Never enough.
We ate about a third of the chips and salsa they brought, split an order of chicken fajitas, and had our one drink and a lot of water and went home. My mood is lighter and now I''m getting the chores done that needed to be done that I just couldn't face. It's like the steam blew out of the kettle and I'm lighter. And I didn't have to eat a bunch of crap or vegetate on the sofa to get this way. I'll pay for the salt on the rim of the glass and in the chips with some water retention, but I don't care.
I'm looking forward to the weekend, water aerobics class and Titanic in 3D on Saturday, and sleeping and reading to my hearts content.
Back at Christmas I made a huge error in judgement that has had repercussion unto this day. I've read about Nutella on various blogs--Dietgirl's being the most memorable. She dipped out the Nutella from the center of the jar and kept the outsides of the jar looking full. Sneaky. Creative. Knowing then that it must be REALLY good, I avoided Nutella. Big time.
But at Christmas, I bought a mini snack pack - individual serving thingee of Nutella with little cookie sticks. My husband loved it. He's been asking for them, and on very rare occasions when I go to Walmart, I've bought him a couple. They don't really rock my world. (thank God for that!)
Tonight we stopped by Krogers because I'm making veggie soup tomorrow and needed the frozen gumbo veggies. The husband bought a box of vanilla wafers and a jar of Nutella. The first jar ever to pass our threshold. I had a couple of nilla wafers with an ittty bitty smear of Nutella ( well, more like 4 or 5 nilla wavers with tiny smears-versus my planned 'dessert/snack'). Yes. These ARE pretty yummy. But geez, 100 calories a tablespoon. The strict rules are that they are kept hidden way high out of my reach. Not my thing but don't need to chance it.
Gardened in pjs before 7:30 am.....just me and my pink flowered Eeyore pjs..trying to get a corner of the front flower bed weeded and mulched. Once the southern heat and bugs whip up in to a fury, I won't be out there very much.
Argued with my husband over a cupcake..I wanted him to eat it.and he wanted it for me. I ate the damn cupcake, but very slowly and mindfully.
Later, felt bad about it.
Repeatedly asked myself "what do I want?".
Added to my definition of abstinence--No binges, no obsessions, and no guilt. I'm working on the guilt part.
Worked my bootey until it was shaped like my chair.
Cooked bbq beef in the crockpot.
Cooked corn on the cob and steamed asparagus.
Walked the dogs.
Had fun at my water aerobics class.
Turned things over to God a few times.
Realized my hormones are out of whack. I keep forgetting. Is that the brain fog I keep hearing about?
I don't know where this is, but this is my kind of bookstore. image from somewhere on the internet
I've been a book geek from way back. The book love starts with memories of a pre- teen Pj riding my bike Oliver William Barrett I (Ryan O'neals' character in Love Story) with the wire basket to the town library to spend a few hours in cool, air-conditioned quiet. ( you could do that in a small town in the 60's and 70's) But first, I'd listen to classical music with the giant Princess-Leia-hair headphones on the mod orange and brown 60's furniture as I'd gather my wits. I was overwhelmed with all the possibilities-the books and the music and movie soundtracks.
Then, I'd browse. Touch the spines. Marvel at the books printed in the 1800's. I'd glance at the little card on the inside of the book cover and pull out the card to see who had checked out the book, their signature, and when it was last read. I was Overwhelmed again. I'd stop at the old oak card catalog and flip through the subjects and titles on the cards and smell that musty card stock smell.
Then the gathering would begin. This took time. The ride home would be shaky because my wire basket was filled with books. Ah, and then what to read first? and where would I escape to? who would I be? what could I learn?
I liked books and libraries so much that I worked in the library of every school I went to from elementary school through my senior year in college ( I got paid for those last few years.) I still, to this day, don't know why I didn't become a librarian. And even odder is that I almost never go to libraries now. When I have, I'm nostalgic but then a bit disappointed because it isn't like the old days. No, I go to bookstores, used and new in every town I go to. I'm a book store hanger outer. And I still get overwhelmed by it all.
The books. Now I buy on Kindle or at used book stores across the south or received as gifts. Occasionally, new from a Barnes and Nobles or grabbed off the shelf at Walmart. Usually, I read on the back patio or under the trees of the backyard. Sometimes in the car when I'm early for an appointment or when my husband drives. But most often I read when I'm lying in bed in pjs, or soaking in the bathtub. If the book is incredible and really grabs me, I've been known to burn through it in one sitting in to the wee hours of the morning.
I am also a re-reader. I'll re-read whole series. I like Christmas books at Christmas. Winter books in winter. Scary books in October. I have little patience these days for romance which I absorbed in my teens and twenties. I'll go through an author phase: several by Jane Austen, Louisa May Alcott, or Alice Hoffman in a row. Lately, I like little mysteries or books about people uprooting themselves from one lifestyle to live in another. This is the year of variety, so far.
Book 4- I'm sure I've read it about 6 times. It becomes familiar and comforting.
Some of my favorite bloggers post favorite books or the books they read every month. For something new, I wanted to keep up with my own books this year (and movies) and have compiled the list.
1st Quarter of 2012 January through March -and actually the first week ofo April too. -- Not great literature. Not best sellers. Just random stuff that interested me at the time.
The Magic of Ordinary Days-Ann Creel (and the Hallmark movie was pretty good too)
The Year of Living Biblically - Aj Jacobs (laugh out loud at times,makes you go hmmmm at others, teared up, had me looking up Bible verses. The author is a New Yorker, an editor at Esquire magazine, and he immerses himself in living religiously and meeting people from various faiths:from Jewish to Born Again Christian to Amish to Snake Handling. He is endearing and I've got his next book on my wish list.)
Bending the Willow-David Stuart Davies ( book about the making of the British Granada tv series Sherlock Holmes and focuses on it's star Jeremy Brett. He was a fantastic Sherlock but manic depressive and a little desperate as he deteriorates in health as the series ends. Very sad. I had to read 2 other books that kept me cheered up as I read this. )
Aurora Teagarden series Reel Murders--Charlaine Harris (quick read, not much to say but southern and $1.50 at a used book store)
The Hunger Games trilogy-Suzanne Collins --(My inner 16 year old loved it and read this over December and January.)
The Hunger Games trilogy-Suzanne Collins --My inner 16 year old just re-read the whole trilogy. I was not a Twilight series freak. Book 1-yes , but couldn't get through the second one. But I actually related to the character of Katniss --climbing and hiding in trees, having to take charge as a teen when her mom checked out emotionally, and then later wrecked with post traumatic stress and only feels safe when she was hiding in nooks)...now if only I had her body and was an archery whiz.
The Pioneer Woman: Black Heels and Tractor Wheels--Ree Drummond (uber blogger whose tv show and blog I avoid because of the food porn. This was an impulse buy at a weak moment, since I'd read part of it on her blog years ago.)
The Red Baron-Manfred Von Rictofen 's autobiography. (I was inspired after watching the movie twice on tv. The actor playint the baron is pretty incredible. The sad thing is that he blissfully enjoyed shooting down places and 'killing Englishmen')
Humming along in the background and always available as a either a daily quick read or as my reference guides
The Upper Room daily devotional guide For Today by Overeaters Anonymous Health at Every Size by Linda Bacon The Wisdom of Menopause( revised edition ) by Christian Northrup m.d. ( I bought this in resignation and triumph on Kindle. My previous woman's health reference book was published in 1995. Things are a changing.)
I look at posts that show up as being viewed on myLive traffic feed and it inspires me to go back through some of my old posts. I never give myself enough credit for my success. All I see are the little daily imperfections and that is wrong. Don't wanna be or need to be perfect. And I'm not. Must remember this.
This was a plan I made for a Thanksgiving day in the past.It was a good day. Actually, this looks like a good daily game plan or a 'get back on track' plan. I'm going to write this up and stick it on the bulletin board over my desk.
*******Daily Game Plan******** Write out a gratitude list. I am thankful for many things-put it in black and white. Write out a guideline or a plan for eating for the day. Walk the dogs and plan some other exercise for that day. Take a nap or go to bed . Journal. Pray. Read a book. One day at a time. Just Breathe. I am ok. Start where you are.
I'm driving to yoga the other day and look down at my belly and thighs and suddenly I can't go to yoga. What was I thinking wearing this together? Bulges. I want to go home and change. But I want to go to yoga. I am not going to yoga I will be miserable. Hmmm, I want to go to Walmart and buy something for like $7 to change in to because I want to go on to the movie on schedule. I'm obsessed with seeing The Hunger Games for the second time ( my inner 15 yr old is whining). I buy a $7 pair of workout pants size 3x. Technically too big, but I don't want anything tight. I change pants in the car and go on to the movie.
Movie. Ahh, the 15 year old is happy. I eat popcorn ( which I planned to eat) and another treat to replace the Lara bar I couldn't find when I was getting ready. When the movie is over, I'm trying to decide what to do. I'm near a Chipotle's. I like their food, but I'm not hungry. But I'm near Chipotle's. When am I ever near Chipotle's? I am not really hungry. I can take it home. I can eat some here , take some home. But I have to go to Walmart and buy stuff and groceries. I drive past Chipotles.
I drive past about 8 different fast foods--little images pop up as I near them. ??? Do I want this ? or that? or this ? or that? But I'm not really hungry. I'll never make it through a Walmarts. I might get out of control. No Walmarts, not in the right frame of minds. Home.
At home, I think about what I could eat , but I'm not hungry . I just want to eat, so I can eat something yummy. Maybe I'll go to Walmart later. Hmmmmm, I'll read my book outside under the trees.
Wow, I forgot to obsess on food. I'll take a nap. Then, Maybe, Walmarts.
Later the husband is there and he's ticked off about something ( I blurted out a spoiler on a tv show last night). Before I know it , it's 8:30 pm. I start thinking about what I need at Walmart and then what are the possibilities. Nope. I'll get something I don't need. Plus , I'm really not hungry. I am miserable. I don't want to get up. I don't want to deal with the crazy food stuff. I go back to sleep and only wake up to pee my usual 2 times a night. Maybe sleeping through a Saturday night is a waste. Maybe it indicates I'm depressed. Maybe it just reset me and put my brain on hold for a bit.
Next day-it's a new day. I'm not obsessed. And surprisingly, I'm not hungry even though I last ate at the movie. But I eat a healthy breakfast. Later, I'm not too distressed over food choices as we drive past a 100 food places and have to pick a place to get my father in law food at. I make better choices. It's not the healthiest as far as 5 to 6 servings of fruit and veg type day, but it could have been worse. I still wanted ice cream. It was a crap of a day as far as dealing with a depressed person who makes my level of depression seem positively chirpey.
Next day--I remember how absolutely miserable I felt Saturday. I don't want to be that way. I hate the cliche' of starting a change in a diet or food plan on a Monday. I don't like the clothing sizes that feel good. I don't want to go in the wrong direction. I just put a little structure back in my life. But it felt good , safe, normal. Just doing what works and a big clamp down on certain behaviors which should stop some of the crazy brain .
And now , I actually do have to go to Walmart. But I have a list. it's ok.
photo from tree-pictures.com I was having a crappy Saturday night , so I went to bed around 8:30 pm Woke up to another day today very well rested Singing in church this morning Cuddles with my dog Angel Waggly butt of our dog Lillie A pretty drive through the country--the really bright spring greens and whites of oak trees and white Dogwoods. Worked through some issues with my husband Shared vanilla cones from McDonald's on the drive home Watching Mad Men in pjs No bad April Fools jokes today Back to bed
I'm a Geek for many things: Food, Pajamas, Coffee, Chocolate, Movies, Books, getting and being fit and healthy, 80's music, and the list goes on and on .....A nurse, a diabetic, I've lost over 130 lbs and have more to go . And I actually enjoy working out.
I chose the names of Ms. PJ Geek and PJ and Pounds because I have happy memories of childhood, coming in dirty and sweaty from playing in the yard. Then taking a bath, putting on a fresh nightgown and feeling all new again . I felt like a princess. Fresh renewal. .........
All names and situations will be changed to protect the innocent and the guilty, and so I can keep my job. While I am a nurse, I do not intend this to be a blog with specific directions or guidelines for healthcare. And.....though I have a college degree, that was a long time ago ya'll, and I don't remember proper punctuation or grammar.