This has been a little mantra thing I've used for the last couple of years--more so lately..sorry Nike.
I liked my little slam poetry ode to getting older/lost youth so I left it up a little while...life, however, goes on.....
I kicked it super hard at Zumba and had a great time Friday night. My hip was hurting like a big beyatch Saturday morning, popped some Aleive, drank some coffee, later ate some sugar free chocolate. The severe heartburn / gastritis kicked in a few hours later ...and wham!!! Get me some Prevaced ..NOW! ..plus downing tums left and right.
Bad habits catching up + yes, I'm getting older = suck it up, take some medicine now, change your friggin habits, girl.!
The point is we are not all perfect. Part of my sly addiction is that habits and little comfort measures sneak in and become routine. I tend to try to avoid the bad / not fun stuff. Then my life becomes unmanageable. Sometimes we just about die before we know it.
It isn't always about food. I spent the majority of my day clearing out my home office, vacuuming the rug, creating space so that a Comcast guy can come in and set up a separate work internet modem line. I had to empty the vacuum thingee twice because of the dust and dog hair. No wonder I have allergies. What was I thinking? I literally was so stressed and up tight about the mess that I realized I had to just do 30 minutes at a time. Just get through this block of 30 minutes and then we'll walk out of here. I had to break it down to what HAD to be done for that visit but I was more aware of what needs to be done to really clear out the clutter. I have a closet full of boxes to sort through --and believe me I'm ready to throw away stuff..release the clutter. Just like the food clutter--obsessing on this or that. And the baggage clutter--the emotions /memories--time to let go of some stuff. It's weighing me down.
Rather than set a list of Resolutions at New Years I did a 12/31/10 post entitled No Resolution , No Revolution, Just Doin
My goals for the new year had to do with exercise , food , feelings. I'm pretty on target with most of it. I stayed away from Dunkin / Starbucks/ Trader Joes / Whole Foods and only did Panera's once. Not a punishment ...a gift to myself. If I were an alcoholic I wouldn't walk through a bar or a casino where the drinks are free. Did eat out a couple of times--not compulsively and I think it was the fair thing to do for my husband...especially after the week of snow / cabin fever. Exercise fine. Even doing a little more from Exercise Tv at home in addition to going to gym. I've been so much more aware of feelings and how I want to avoid them or don't like sitting with them. But I have identified them, felt some of them, journaled and for the most part I didn't eat over them. On the few occasions I did I was so aware of it and so dissatisfied. Because it doesn't work the same once you have this much awareness. Going to Overeaters Anonyomous again and being in an email community with other Oa folks had been a real boost to my emotional / mental well being.
Phase 4 challenge continues: I've lost 3 % of my body weight in this month which is about in the upper 1/3 of the group of challengers. I know it could have been more and I'm looking forward to proving that in February. I have the willingness. But I also am aware and not happy with the concept of Valentines day. My dad was buried on Valentines day. And after years and years of no Valentine, for the last lucky 14 I've had a Valentine and we've had some lovely times. Food and chocolate abound in those lovely times. I know it doesn't have to, and I must resist the urges and obsessive thinking--food and chocolate ones . More water please!
So that's it ..that's how I'm doing. Work in progress...always.
Less talkin, more doin
Gratitude: All of the Above-except the gastritis.
How YOU Doing?
A Little Confession
3 hours ago