The Food Addict and the Firemen

Currently I'm in between knowing what to do, knowing what's right for me in the food / health / diet / weight loss scheme of things. I'm working on it. I've reinvented myself in this game many times in the last 3-4 years since I hit my topper weight of 345 and started seriously working my way down.

Pj gets close to goal weight and freaks out and now I don't know what to do.

Things I know:
-- gastric bypass or any variation of -not for me
-- loves food-yes
-- lifelong history of abusing food --yes
-- emotional eater and an unconscious eater with no emotions whatsoever--yes, yes.
-- I like exercise and feel empowered , stress relieved, good afterward.
-- Even though I'm reading and working towards intuitive eating. I'm not eating intuitively most of the time, so my shorts are tight and I don't want to get on the scale. Working on it.


Cut to just a short example of the Barrage of commercials and food cues that we get assaulted with daily. Just a reminder to me of the little things that I do that is , I think, on the right track.

So I listen to the radio while I'm working some of the time and when I'm in the car ( ancient car with cassette player still). I hear this Firehouse Subs commercial for their Turkey Bacon Ranch Sub everyday like at least 5 times. It seems like this company focuses on a particular sandwich for a while and that's all you hear about.
But they were started by Firemen and I'm all about Firemen, so it sounds like a place I would want to go to.

Sometimes I turn down the volume and skip that commercial. Today, I was busy and the radio was playing and I heard it like a dozen times till I shut the radio off completely. Then I thought what the heck? Let's check out the website because I want to know the nutritional content and where the closest Firehouse sub place is.

Nutrition copied from website.
Large turkey Bacon Ranch Sub (on wheat)-- calories 1380 , fat 18 gm , sodium 3780
Medium cal 840, fat 12 gm, sodium 2330

Just for fun, I checked on the tuna salad sub medium with no mayo and cheese 700 calories..

This is bad news. That's all it takes for me to say a big N-O. If I want this combo of sandwich fixings I'll fix it myself.
Even though I beat up on myself for a lot of things, I think I got this right.

Self care today: I've got a lot of aches and pains and it freaks me out. And I'm a nurse which makes it too scary because I know toooooo much. boob, butt, legs hurt and burn. fun. going to the gym and just walk, I said W A L K on the treadmill and then maybe bike a little. I've not been to the gym since last week because of all the pains and stuff. Is the pain because of not going to gym or is the pain pain or is it all in my head? We shall see.