**someone's photo found off googleStill itchey but not as bad. Still sinusey but not as bad. It's been 6 days since my last anti-histamine.
I had therapy yesterday. I hate saying breakthrough but sometimes "WOMP" you get hit on the head and realize some stuff. Then the Universe / God decides to flick at you a bit to make sure the lesson was learned.
Bottom line--fear. I've stuffed it down for years. In fact, fear is one of the things that litters my memories of my teenage years due to having more responsibility and challenges to deal with than a teenager should. And connecting some of that to some of what's going on with me now is enlightening. I have a long road ahead to learn to experience and process this fear and all the other emotions that I don't like to deal with ( except with oreos).
After therapy to the church to make ''samwiches' and lunches for the school lunches for kids not in school this summer'. Then to the gym to workout for the first time this week. Too sick before. I read an article about the tornado's in Tuscaloosa in Sports Illustrated and started crying at the gym on the bike. The photos look just like the ones I'd taken the weekend I'd visited my sister. Football season can't come a minute sooner to this football-devoted area.
I love seeing rabbits and throw veggies and fruit in to my garden for the area rabbit to eat. As I drove to the gym I had seen one on the side of the woods near the gym and had thought about what rabbit symbolizes. In Native American lore which is something I've studied , rabbits symbolize fear and overcoming limiting beliefs. On the way out of the gym, I saw that that rabbit was hit by a car. I 'm so soft hearted and that made me sad. But made me wonder as well.
When I arrived home I thought about all the emotion I'd experienced just in the last 3 hours. Not normal for me. I talked with my husband--I tried to explain it. He just listened. I ate the dinner I planned to eat. We watched for the 5th or maybe 8th time the movie "Scott Pilgrim" which is funny and familiar and always makes makes me sing , laugh and say lines along with the actors.
The potion isn't food.
Gratitude: snuggling with the hubs on the sofa, rabbits, blog folks, coffee, therapy, "Scott Pilgrim"
That movie makes absolutely no sense but thats whats funny about it. I watched it one night with my hubby and it was hilarious.
ReplyDeleteGlad you had a breakthrough with your therapy. Im starting therapy next week with a therapist that is close by. Im nervous :/
Scott Pilgrim is a crazy movie. I watched it while half asleep on an airplane and I was so confused! Love the randomness.
ReplyDeleteNever heard of Scott Pilgram, but may have to check it out from the library for the weekend.
ReplyDeleteLove your musings about emotion. I've had those sessions in therapy where suddenly there is a seismic shift in my solar plexus - it's good, even when it hurts like hell. You're doing good work.
Hugs, dear. I run the gamut of emotions on a daily basis. I know what you mean. Fear is an old one for me too. Back to childhood. Hopefully, I'm learning to deal with it without burying it with food. I wish you well.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sad about the rabbit, but your whole post makes me think differently. I've long thought the rabbit is my totem animal; I identify with them. Fear, eh? Well, this will take some thought. In the meantime, good that you're feeling better, even well enough to return to the gym, and finding ways to deal with your fear (other than oreos, which I perfectly understand).
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