Working on being healthy in body , mind , spirit..135 lbs lost, then Maintained for a few years, and lately some regained. Working on it -in and out of Pjs
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Food addict's Other Mother
So this weekend my husband joined me for a trip down memory lane as we journeyed to Alabama to the memorial service of the mother of my best friend from childhood to teen years. During my childhood I thought of her mom as one of 'my other mothers'. The librarian at the town library was another. The choir director, another. Women who raised me up and loved me with either books or music or food. They listened, cared enough to ask questions, encouraged, guided. T's mom was definitly my "food mama".
My husband commented "all your memories focus on food". I mean , we had to stop for the usual hot roast beef po -boy that we get everytime we visit my home town. "Correction, honey, many, but not all of my good memories focus on food."
During the eulogies at the service several people spoke. Food was mentioned many times and was a big portion of one person's memories of this dear one. I looked at my husband and said "SEE". I didn't feel so weird. I wasn't the only one remembering her for her love and her food.
Later , at an 'after luncheon' my old best friend waxed poetically about the cookies her mom made and the foods that we ate as kids after school at her house. She was all of 84 pounds during high schoool and I was pushing or over 200. Quite a pair. We were both equally food focused though I confess I probably , obviously , ate more.
On the drive home, I thought about that "other mother" idea. I've definitely sought that in my past but also in female bosses, therapists, coworkers. Why? Then I remembered. My own mom who "had issues" had a couple of 'nervous breakdowns' when I was very young and then a pre teen. She was focused on her stuff. And the drama of my older sisters. I was the 'trying to be good girl"..shoving cookies down my throat to feel comfort and love and sedation. I blog about the 'house o drama' and being a food addict since being a little kid, but I forget some of the reasons behind all that.
Food was my 'other mother'. But not really.
Anyway--nuff about that, something clicked since that trip home. I'm taking care of myself . I'm mothering myself or at least caring for my self in other ways than with food. It feels better. It is better. My body and my life require it. Finally, I'm back where I was . Well , not back where I was. But in a different place..moving towards a better place.
I'm a Geek for many things: Food, Pajamas, Coffee, Chocolate, Movies, Books, getting and being fit and healthy, 80's music, and the list goes on and on .....A nurse, a diabetic, I've lost over 130 lbs and have more to go . And I actually enjoy working out.
I chose the names of Ms. PJ Geek and PJ and Pounds because I have happy memories of childhood, coming in dirty and sweaty from playing in the yard. Then taking a bath, putting on a fresh nightgown and feeling all new again . I felt like a princess. Fresh renewal. .........
All names and situations will be changed to protect the innocent and the guilty, and so I can keep my job. While I am a nurse, I do not intend this to be a blog with specific directions or guidelines for healthcare. And.....though I have a college degree, that was a long time ago ya'll, and I don't remember proper punctuation or grammar.