I'm off track. Plan to get back on track, but I'm kind of ( a part of me ) enjoying being off track. Hard to post that but truthful.
I can tend to be one of those doom / gloom types because I see a lotta doom / gloom with my job. It's hard to remain upbeat and to look on the positive side of things and ignore some of the potentials. I see people get diagnosed with cancer and all kinds of crappy things every day . So when I have to have a test I think about all the angles. I have a breast repeat mammogram / ultrasound next week and a pelvic ultrasound. I immediately think about ..what if I have cancer and have to have chemo and would I wear a wig or just wear a hat or scarf.??????? I really had a whole train of thought about this.
Another rational part of me says .."chill girly, you can handle it, let it go"
This other part says "a pumpkin muffin will taste good and make you feel better."
It does briefly, but just the fact that I'm off track and could be putting the pounds back on while I'm off track and the panic of holiday temptations to come is overwhelming.
I also got dreamy eyed thinking about christmas as a child and about looking forward to Christmas this year ( the little things like, music, cards, Christmas movies). But then the reality of the food struggles to come and the need to get my self a little more together in the food arena hit. Pressure.
I've got to work on some inner stuff and fortify that part of myself that is wise and able to care for me in ways other than with food. I'm workin on it.
It surprises me to be in this place .
Oh and the cherry on top is a sore throat / sinus cold...
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