Thursday, April 17, 2014

Back to our regular programming...

Back home from my mini vacay with sister. This means Structure and plans and goals and things.

Also--the return to television of Mad Men-*first episode..meh and Game of Thrones--OMG

Saturday, April 12, 2014

On the road..

I'm off to see my sister, my wonderful sister in Alabama. Hair will be cut, grays will be covered (she is a hairdresser). Then, just time to lounge around and talk. Maybe look at pictures. Watch a movie. Have a cup of coffee, a glass of wine. Break bread. I'm looking forward to going to her church for Palm Sunday which is more formal than my church. My church is laid back which I like too.

Then probably on to a casino hotel nearby and sit by the pool --highs around 80 this weekend , but plunging back to the 40's. Spring! I have my check up with my primary doc and my yearly eye exam when I get back. That is good incentive to come back feeling really good about how well I do in eating healthy and exercising each day. I'm feeling great after the last few weeks of the bloat and pain of that darn ovarian cyst. I'm down 10 lbs from then. I'm truly thankful to be feeling so much better. Work has been crazy and I've put in 11 and 12 hour days each day . I've had to grab 10 minutes here and 15 minutes there to get exercise in and haven't been to the gym at all. Yet , I feel like I'm holding. Lots of short workouts with low weights and high reps.

I've got about a 4 hour drive today , and I'm packing lunch and snacks for today . Packing snacks for the rest of time.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

from perimenopause to viagra

Somehow last week I had an ovarian cyst rupture....owe!. Perimenopause strikes again!

food stuff. I got a new digital scale and have been weighing my food today. This is after a weekend that could only be described as part gluttony. A couple of poor choices made, but not the end of the world. (Though at times I think it is . I have to remind myself it isn't the end of everything.) Today was a better day and tomorrow will be even better.

This weekend I'm going out of town and the only way to do it without feeling out of control is to plan , plan , plan. And planning includes knowing that I'm not perfect and I need to save calories for more tasty foods.

tummy pooch--We have had temps from the 30's to the 80's in the last few days and I've been trying on old clothes and new clothes. I'm still fitting in to clothes from last summer , but I swear every ounce of extra weight I gain goes right to the tummy. Snug tummy fitting things. That Flat Belly diet stuff is bull#@!$. I eat those Mufa foods and it isn't doing a thang.

Exercise--The Doctor I saw thinks I also have a pulled or injured inguinal ligament from where some of my pain is. The recommendation was to stay away from the gym a bit. And he poo poohed yoga, but this is one of those things where you have to take the message and consider it. He seemed just as perturbed by all those 'weird positions' as he was about 'all that meditation and stuff'. I haven't even been to yoga in a couple of weeks when the pain was the worst.

last but not least, I thought I'd confess that I find those guys in the Viagra commercials attractive. Kinda rugged blue collar types. there is quite a lot of internet fodder out there about these guys. Consider it.

photos from

Wednesday, April 2, 2014


I am going through a super sensitive phase this week. Hopefully, it will wane and wane some more in to nothingness. Sitting in the sunshine and walking in the neighborhood is the healing balm for this. Meditation helps. Prayer. Work.

It's the kind of thing where I get sort of forlorn and mixed up just driving past the PetsSmart where I saw a cool cat recently but couldn't/didn't adopt it. Is he still there? Should I check? I didn't even pet him. I just felt sad that he is just sitting and waiting. I am a soft puddle of kitty love and wistfulness.

I flipped past American Idol, which I don't watch, and watched for a few minutes and then felt sad for the likely rejection the performer is going to face. There's more too this , but I don't feel like sharing.

Depressed? maybe and just too darn sensitive. I'm just sitting with it all and not eating over it.

The right kitty will come and maybe a dog too. I continue to not watch American Idol.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

yard work gym!

We have 14 Oak trees, 4 Bradford Pears and about 402,000 leaves on the ground here in Pjville.
The grass wants to grow but needs a little human participation.

I'm on a mission.

So far this week, I've managed 205 minutes of raking leaves and picking up sticks and branches.
According to my 'calorie burned' calculator that would be around 1435 calories burned.
Better than just same ol same ol cardio on the elliptical or bike.

But even better.................
Little blades of fuzzy green grass are already shooting up.
The robins are happy because there are little bugs and rough earth to pick through.
A little sun, fresh air, and rain and we will be in the grass growing business

I'll also say there are still 200,990 leaves on the ground and one broken rake.
A quick trip to Ace Hardware in a few days and I'll be back in business at my own personal gym.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

I only have random things to say, so I'll say them......

I am just doing my life one day at a time here.

I don't like what I see when I get on the scale, but I know I am doing what I can today. If I were obsessive about losing weight I would be out there walking in the 28 degree cold even though I was sick yesterday and feel iffy today and have to start work in a few minutes. I don't want to be obsessive about anything--losing weight or eating muffins. So I plod on with a walk later today when the sun shines and maybe a muffin at some point too. I will eat fresh fruits, proteins, carbs, dairy, fat and coffee today and lots of water. there may be a muffin or chocolate, but it will be enough and I'll eat it mindfully .

It will balance out.

Like I said, I only have random things to say , so I'll say them.

I pray everyday about this Malaysian plane and the people it has affected. So sad and mysterious and heartbreaking. All the theories we want to believe because truth is upsetting and just tragic.

I am almost finished with the third book in the Divergent series. I'm glad it will be over soon and I will go back to peaceful writings about farms and animals and love and life. I saw the movie this weekend. It's no Hunger Games.

Does anyone watch Bates Motel? Excellent tv show. I want to vacation in that town and stay at the Bates Motel.

It makes me sad that my husband still hopes that I will get pregnant after every time we make love, even though I am 51 and have never been able to get pregnant ( nor know that I would ever want to be.)

With my cozy purple fleece top and Suzanne Somers black pj pants, I now go to work.

Happy hump day

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Self Care with Shoes

I wanted some pink ones--maybe this summer?

I was having a Skype therapy session with my therapist about ways that I'm caring for myself other than with food. The theory is I adapted to caring for myself with food as a wee child and then I went overboard with it. By caring for myself in other ways, I won't lean towards food. Simple. Right. You may know all of this as it akin to the list of things you can do to comfort yourself other than with food: bubble bath, pet the dog, a cup of tea, a nap, a call to a friend, etc etc.

But then I started recognizing other things that I've been doing and new things. There are the daily activities of living that are the basis of self care like Hygiene, taking my medicine , drinking water, journaling my food /dreams/ feelings, and reading my devotionals. Sadly, these are sometimes the things that don't get done as regularly as they should when I'm depressed on anxious or just not handling my stresses well. Just functioning in life is all about self care, but functioning with grace and happiness and hope and confidence takes me a little more.

Recently, I spent a gift card at Shoe Carnival and bought a new pair of Saucony's and a pair of Sketchers Go Walk. It was a buy one, buy one at half price situation. I've never bought myself 2 pairs of shoes like that at the same time. It just isn't anything I would do. I have odd feet that are hard to fit for shoes. Wide foot, high narrow arch and heel. Somehow I also now need size 9 1/2 wide in these shoes. I have plenty of shoes in size 8 or 8 1/2, but for some reason now I need size 9 1/2.

I showed my Sketchers over Skype and my therapist laughed and said she has the same shoes, loves them, and also bought herself 2 pairs of shoes recently which she had never done and it DID make her feel special. It is a special little boost of self care to do something like this. Who knew?

Then there are the special 'other' things I've done recently :
- random extra cuddles with my husband. that makes him happy too.
- rather than buy new ones, I searched out , found , and matched up a few pairs of my favorite fuzzy socks. I had a drawer of about 10 different colored socks. Keeping my feet warm is AHhhhhh. How do those socks get lost?
- bought daffodils
- had an appointment with a psychiatrist to tweak my meds (something I'd put off for a couple of years)
- new toenail polish
- took a long nap
- sponsored some children at our church to go to camp--yea, that was self care to me also.
- listened to some favorite music , Very loudly.

I may have jumped up and did a dance.

Happy Spring, ya'll